I don’t know what the deal is with the Nov to Feb time. But a lot of weddings take place during these months. But this season was sort of special. Lot of MY friends got hitched! We have hardly left the stage of writing notes in classes, and there they go tying the nuptial knot! Most of the weddings came unexpectedly, and it came in swarms. Starting last November, I found out my mobile can actually be used to receive calls as well as make them. Until then, it was mostly one way calls all magnanimously commencing from my device. Some dear old friend of the evergreen yesteryears would call me up and I’d say “Hey, dear old friend of the evergreen yesteryears, did you hear the latest buzz? The so-and-so mutual friend just announced that he/she will be getting married on the ??th of Nov/Dec/Jan/Feb… Can you believe that? I assume you called me to discuss that. Don’t you think it’s too soon?” And my dear old friend of the evergreen yesteryears would reply “Uhmm… actually, Hamish, I called to tell you that I’m getting married this Nov/Dec/Jan/Feb…”

Not my finest moments. But you have to admit, I couldn’t possibly have imagined that ELEVEN of my friends would choose to marry in this short time frame. This felt like the sci-fi twilight zone for nuptial convergence.

And that is not all. NINE of these marriages were scheduled on dates that I was absolutely incapable of attending. Co-inky-dink? I’d like to think so, but I wouldn’t bet on it. It was almost as if they asked me for the worst times possible

Them: Hey, about my marriage… Is the 20th of November o.k. for you?
Me: Hey, not bad at all
Them: Uhm… Actually we might think of 2nd December
Me: Oh, that would be bad. I’m having my internal exam then. Absolutely impossible.
Them: Really? I mean… Oh, no. That seems to be the only day church will be free. I’ll miss you. Take care. Gotta go.


Hmm… it may not have occurred to you, but my ingenious yet dignified intellect makes me deduce with some amount of conviction that hey, maybe… just maybe… these people are trying to shun me. It’s probably that old stupid rumor. For those of you that still believe it, I’m telling you they were all lies... lies… lies!!! Started by some dubious yet sinister type villain trying to blacken my name. For the record, I’m stating here, in the presence of all witnesses, that I did NOT cause the famine in Somalia. I do NOT eat that much. The UN never released a publication stating I did. And I have NEVER been to Somalia. I am prepared to state that under oath. Yes, I’ll come over to the courthouse ANYTIME of the day and swear on the bible. What? Right now? Are you crazy? It’s almost lunchtime.

But at least these people called me up to tell me the news. Of the blighted eleven, a few ‘friends’ didn’t even bother to tell me about the wedding. The nerve of those people! I actually had to hear the news from others. I’m not talking about the hi-bye kind of friends. So we weren’t the Damon and Pythias kinds of friends, but definitely close enough to warrant a decent notice. Perhaps they don’t understand the concept. Even the Somalia rumor doesn’t excuse them. They could have informed about the wedding without sending an invite. I have a good mind to select the closest among them and call him up and use colorful adjectives. You know what, I think I will…



Me: Hello
Him: Hey, Hamish! How’s it going, dude?
Me: Don’t “Hey, Hamish! How’s it going, dude?” me, you . You got hitched and you didn’t even tell me about it.
Him: Uh… didn’t you err… get my email?
Me: Don’t you try to worm out of this one, you . I’m gonna.. I’m gonna….
Him: You’re gonna what?
Me: Hrmpf… When I get married, I’m NOT inviting you!
Him: When you get… When you get… you know, Hamish, remember when I told you you can never hope to be a comedian? Well, I take that back. I see definite possibility…

Hmm… You know what… I think I won’t call him up after all. I’m not even gonna send him this mail.