The blah-blahs and the yada-yadas

Up, Up, and AWAYYYYYYY!!

2008-08-14T01:55:00.000-07:00

My blog has moved. Actually, it moved a while ago. It's been in http://www.hamishjoy.com for a LONG time now. In case some of you still come here, well... go to the new site instead. Stay fresh.:)

Spice Up Yours

2008-04-30T00:03:00.000-07:00

A cellular phone is more or less the norm for the people of today. You can't throw a brick around Bangalore without knocking off somebody's cellphone, crushing the teeny lil thing and eventually getting sued for a helluvalotta money. It is the cultural norm and a workplace necessity; the default gadget of popular askance. When people ask ME whether I have a mobile phone, however, I get to answer

I've been tagged

2008-04-02T00:15:00.000-07:00

So it finally happened. I got tagged. The lone crusader Arvind, a.k.a. Don Osiris from Whabook sent me the message that he has tagged me.Lest I got anxious and started fixing up an appointment with the doctor, Arvind calmed me down and explained how this was not a bad thing. I just need to answer a few questions. That's not so bad, is it? I used to do decently well back in school.My blog has

As wet as wet can be

2008-03-16T21:18:00.000-07:00

It seemed like any other day... My work for the day was done, I had grumbled enough about having to work on a Saturday, and it was evening. My brother and I began the customary search for a place to snack. He had a bike... So geography wasn't a boundary. We can go anywhere within reasonable limits... try someplace new. The debate was still going on in full swing when suddenly... it started to

Life in a faster lane...

2008-03-09T14:27:00.000-07:00

There is no doubt about it. We live a fast world. We are obsessed with an overwhelming need to save time. We want fast cars, fast food, express freeways, accelerated growth plans, quick answers, speedy remedies, executive summaries, swift justice, express deliveries, snappy comebacks, instant messages, quick routes, minimal delays, (continue reading)

A cause-effect analysis

2008-03-02T23:02:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a bad day. Little demons with big pointy sticks poked the insides of my skull; Tiny clones of Himesh Reshammiya sat next to my eardrums and shrieked at the top of his irksome nasal voice; my old economics professor popped up like an inebriated jack-in-the-box every time I blinked, just to ask me questions like "If you take the GDP of the country and measure a diminishing return on

Saving Face - For Your Eyes Only

2008-02-24T21:14:00.000-08:00

Ok, I’ve thought about this long and hard. I think I’ll do it. I’m going to trust you with a secret. But shh… not a word to anyone. Like I just said… It’s a secret. It’s a teeny tiny incident that happened a couple of weeks ago. I haven’t told a soul. And I haven’t told a soul because it’s embarrassing. Oh my god, what am I doing? This is a mistake. I shouldn’t write about this. Let me write

Rules of engagement

2008-02-18T10:37:00.000-08:00

Birds were singing, flowers blooming, and every guy who had a girl to hold on to, had a big cheesy smile accompanying an animated far-off look… rather like Ron McDonald, only goofier. It was the 14th of February, and unless you’re a grizzly bear who is smart enough to hibernate through this period, you know what that means. Valentine’s day: mush overload. Historically speaking, it has roots going

Playing dumb - the professional way

2008-02-10T13:11:00.000-08:00

Who would have believed it? I was busy. Me. I still remember the time not too long back when the most tiring work I had was to muffle the sounds of my snores. And today, I am so loaded with work that I'd probably have to hire a secretary to brush my teeth. Today morning, I reviewed my projects, packed up my notes, charted my expenses, and got the recordings collated and organized. And now, I had

This is a job for... Supermad

2008-02-03T20:58:00.001-08:00

Everybody wants to be a superhero. I’m sure that from time to time, even you have woken up, rubbed your eyes, yawned, and felt that insane urge to don a cape, shout out an eager catchphrase at the top of your lungs, and jump out the nearest window, determined to fight crime, spread peace, and sell millions of dollars worth of collectible merchandise… It’s a universal dream. At least, I hope it is

A Rick-ety Experience

2008-01-27T21:49:00.000-08:00

People write about a lot of different things. Some people write about nature, the environment, space, the cosmos, or even the classification of different types of bird shit (”No, John, it may LOOK like an ordinary crow’s. But if you taste it, you’ll see it belonged to the Lesser Black-backed Gull.”) Still others write about war, famine, epidemics, quakes, plagues, and the imminent threat of

GTS - Grand Theft Scooto

2008-01-20T21:59:00.000-08:00

Though you may not guess to look at me, the Hamish persona has always been the kind of honest, law abiding citizen that people write songs about (like 'Bad bad Leroy Brown' No, wait… scratch that. It's not the theme I was looking for. Hmm… I can't think of anything right now, but I'm sure there are some songs that fit the bill.) I was probably never the ideal candidate for the Model Citizen of

Hamish, M.aD.

2008-01-13T11:37:00.000-08:00

Entertainment has owned me for the better part of my life. Even when I was a toddler drooling on VHS tapes, my dad had to spend an unreasonable amount of time dragging me away from the TV. And if you think dragging a kicking and screaming Hamish away from a good movie is a walk in the park, you have a twisted view of what a park should be like.Imitation is rumored to be the sincerest form of

Boys don't cry

2008-01-02T23:23:00.000-08:00

Boys don’t cry. Nah. They may run into nasty boo boos and get mommy to kiss the wounds from time to time, but at least when they’re with his gang, boys do NOT cry. And men. They do not cry. Ever! Nope. They can’t cry. The tear glands are there for decoration only. Imagine Lois Lane running to Superman for cover from Lex Luthor and Superman bursting into tears. He’ll be the laughing stock of

To baldly go where lots of men have gone before

2007-12-04T23:13:00.000-08:00

I have my hair alright. I suppose I could delude myself that it's always gonna be there, but only under the influence of REALLY powerful hallucinogens like LSD, mescaline, or Keith Richards. The truth, however, is in plain sight. I'm losing hair like ballot papers from Florida.Historically, hair loss has been a bad omen. Napoleon started noticing how his hair was starting to recede when he was in

In constant peril...

2007-11-27T19:52:00.000-08:00

The bush was thick and dense. And he was hidden well behind it. "No. They're not gonna find me here", he said to himself, half believing what he said... He breathed a sigh of relief and took a rare moment of rest. It was risky, but he chanced it; he dropped his guard. It felt like old times.Oh, how he missed the old carefree days, never having to worry about them dropping on him. No. No more of

A rick in time... is quite unheard of

2007-11-20T20:33:00.000-08:00

The meek may inherit the earth, but the roads shall still belong to the auto driver.For those of you who are fortunate enough to not know what it is, an auto, a.k.a. an autorickshaw, or more lovably, a 'rick', is a three-wheeled taxi you find all around India, unless of course, you are in desperate need of one, in which case you'd have better luck finding ice cream in an active furnace.It

The Road More or Less Travelled

2007-11-13T02:32:00.000-08:00

The engine roars, the heart pumps and the tyres screech, throwing mud and gravel smack into the face of anyone dumb enough to put his face right behind the wheels of the Ford Fiesta, doing 140 km/h on the highway. The red Mahindra Scorpio is about five kilometers in front, racing at an incredible speed, thinking that it has finally seen the last of the Fiesta. After all, it is but

My Purpose In Life...

2007-11-07T12:11:00.000-08:00

People come to me incessantly, asking about my purpose in life… And if you think it is OK for people to come to you incessantly for something, you obviously have never had people come to you incessantly. And when they start grilling you on the purpose of your life, their primal motive is to make you feel about as useful as a chewed wad of bubble gum. More often than not, they put these queries in

Researchers Going Bananas

2007-10-31T03:12:00.000-07:00

In the heat of WW2, amidst chaos, anarchy, and a general spread of terror, it was Winston Churchill who proudly stood on the podium and with grim determination, said, “Alas, if only we knew the stability of freeze-dried bananas, we could have lived without fear.” Well, ok, ok…. Actually, he said something way cooler; something like “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.”; but he could

An ode to vegetables…

2007-10-16T02:46:00.000-07:00

Behold, thou frail cucumber, be ye eaten cold Be thee yonder spinach’s brother, or so Popeye has told Carrots, beets, potaytos, potahtos, minced in veggie stew All that’s yummy and fills the tummy is… bah… I can’t do this!!! Sorry about that… I thought, rather too late, that some people may have mistaken the title

You can check out any time you like, but...

2007-10-10T23:20:00.000-07:00

For those who came in late... I was admitted into a Hospital ward on suspicion of Typhoid. This is true... I wasn't under treatment for Typhoid, mind you... ... I was brought in because of 'alleged Typhoid-like symptoms'. It started one lovely Friday morning... which turned out to be not-so-lovely-after-all, as I suddenly got inflicted with high fever. If the eyewitness accounts hold true, there

Bloodsuckers

2007-10-06T01:34:00.000-07:00

Usually, when I vent my rage on the bloodsuckers of my beloved hometown, Cochin, I’m writing about the highly evolved tactical team of mosquitoes ruling the region. If ever researchers were to do a full fledged study on these freaks of nature, they would unanimously agree, in my opinion, that they may be stung to death before they can complete the study… But today, I’m talking about

And the Virus Attacks!!

2007-10-03T05:33:00.000-07:00

The IT wave has indeed swept the nation. Words and their meanings change from zone to zone, time to time, and generation to generation. If you are anywhere close to my generation, then you would have seen the title and expected an article on how my computer seized up because of some nasty internet virus. But you would have been wrong on two counts. 1.