In the heat of WW2, amidst chaos, anarchy, and a general spread of terror, it was Winston Churchill who proudly stood on the podium and with grim determination, said, “Alas, if only we knew the stability of freeze-dried bananas, we could have lived without fear.”

Well, ok, ok…. Actually, he said something way cooler; something like “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.”; but he could have just as easily included the banana remark somewhere there. That would have been really considerate of him. I could have started this note with a true quote instead of a made-up one.

But I’m not one to hold grudges. I’ll make do with what I have. I am, as you can see, more flexible than a drunken slinky.

But I’m straying from the point. I tend to do that at times. To get back on track, today’s topic: Freeze Dried Bananas… Yes, (continue reading)

Behold, thou frail cucumber, be ye eaten cold
Be thee yonder spinach’s brother, or so Popeye has told
Carrots, beets, potaytos, potahtos, minced in veggie stew
All that’s yummy and fills the tummy is… bah… I can’t do this!!!

Sorry about that… I thought, rather too late, that some people may have mistaken the title of this article to mean this is ACTUALLY an ode to vegetables. I thought maybe I should try and please that segment of the audience, despite how incredibly dumb they are… Sorry, I can’t do it. As you can see, I DID try.

This post is of a more sinister nature, actually… For those of you who’re in the dark, I am a recent survivor of a fever attack; a virus working incognito that had baffled doctors in two major cities before I finally got better. The doctors still don't have a clue about the identity of the alleged virus. (Personally, I’m calling it The Bourne Viri.) This only frustrated the medical community even further. The way they saw it, they failed to

a) identify how or why I got sick and what the sickness AND
b) explain WHY I got better.

They were pretty grumpy about it in the end. They finally left me with (continue reading)

For those who came in late... I was admitted into a Hospital ward on suspicion of Typhoid. This is true... I wasn't under treatment for Typhoid, mind you... ... I was brought in because of 'alleged Typhoid-like symptoms'. It started one lovely Friday morning... which turned out to be not-so-lovely-after-all, as I suddenly got inflicted with high fever. If the eyewitness accounts hold true, there was visible smoke rising from my body which obscured vision within the surrounding area. Of course, I’m considering this remark as a highly exaggerated, inaccurate observation, fabricated mostly by myself.

Let's just leave it at the fact that I was pretty sick. I had to be flown out of Bangalore and into Cochin so that I can be watched over by THE experts… I’m not talking about experts in medicine… I was talking about experts on ME… my parents…

I was taken directly from the airport into (continue reading)

Usually, when I vent my rage on the bloodsuckers of my beloved hometown, Cochin, I’m writing about the highly evolved tactical team of mosquitoes ruling the region. If ever researchers were to do a full fledged study on these freaks of nature, they would unanimously agree, in my opinion, that they may be stung to death before they can complete the study…

But today, I’m talking about two legged, non-flying, professional bloodsuckers. Not lawyers in this case, cos I’m talking ‘blood’ in the more literal sense… Nurses. Now I have nothing against the profession. Let nursing nurses nurse… that was always my stand… But some of the recent activities in my life has got some blood flowing (continue reading)

The IT wave has indeed swept the nation. Words and their meanings change from zone to zone, time to time, and generation to generation. If you are anywhere close to my generation, then you would have seen the title and expected an article on how my computer seized up because of some nasty internet virus. But you would have been wrong on two counts.

1. My comp does NOT need help from any virus to seize up, thank you… On all matters of hanging up, crashing, acting weirdly, deleting random files, and making unseemly noises, it is fairly self reliant. In fact, it would take offence if a virus offered assistance. “Oh, what? You think I can’t freeze up on my own??? Up yours, you 10011001010010010101!!!!!” (What? You can come up with a better binary swear word?)

2. I am talking about viri in a more biological sense… Leave computers out of this for a while. Ok?

It all started one bright Friday morning (the mornings ARE bright these days, aren’t they?) when my colleague remarked that I was hot. I was about to say “Why, thank you”, when she made it abundantly clear that she was talking strictly in the literal sense. It took about a few minutes before I actually started feeling the effects of the fever. (continue reading)

I’m not really a travel fanatic. I’ve had to travel a lot of places due to my work, yes; and I cant say I haven’t enjoyed some of those trips… But I feel more at home when… well, when I’m at home. But the point is… I HAVE traveled a bit, and it is with that air of authority with which I am declaring this – Cochin has the WORST roads of any city of India.

The roads were never the big attraction in Cochin… No tourist has ever said, “Wow. Leave the backwaters alone. Take a dig at this road!!”. But then again, I have to say there is enough evidence that someone has indeed been digging right in the middle of the road.

If last year, someone had told me that the roads were going to get worse, I’d have mocked him. “Get out of here”, I would have said, followed by some smart aleck (continue reading)